In the United States, and perhaps in other countries as well,
September 16 has been designated as “Stepfamily Day”. A day
dedicated to the stepfamily. A day to honor all the StepHeroes
out there who choose every day to be parents to ALL the children
in their lives.
What will you do to honor your family on this special day? Some
communities have picnic celebrations planned. Some blended
families choose to spend the day together, as a family, without
any electronic devices on for the whole day. Other stepfamilies
go to a favorite place with friends and play together. And the
vast majority let the day go by as any other day and miss the
chance to honor themselves for all the effort and hard work it
takes to make a blended family work. Why? Because they do not
even know this day exists for them. They are not aware of all
the resources out there for them. They believe that they are the
only ones who are experiencing what it is like to be in a
blended family and they feel all alone.
This could be a great opportunity to reach out to other step and
blended families in your community. What would it be like to
arrange a spontaneous pot-luck, where you invite two other
families you know who are also blended, and ask each of them to
invite two blended families that they know. Have some activities
planned for the different age groups of children, and plan to
meet at a location that can accommodate you all (one of your
homes; a nearby park or playground; a community center; …). This
doesn’t have to be fancy and you do have to spend a ton of
money. In fact, you can have each family bring one of their
favorite games to play, and see what you discover - how many are
the same? How many are different? Which ones have never been
played? Which ones are the ones everybody knows and has? … Spend
the day connecting and being with others who are blending too.
Step and Blended Families that choose to make this kind of
effort are always amazed at the rewards that happen
unexpectedly. Oftentimes, they enjoy the experience so much that
they decide to make it a monthly event, with a different theme
each month.
Are you finding yourself excited and elated by this idea? Or are
your first thoughts those of resistance or dread? Notice how
your mind is responding to this idea. Is it coming up with all
kinds of reasons why you could not or would not or should not do
this? While all those reasons may appear to be valid, chances
are they are not necessarily true. Our minds have a way of
keeping us from trying or doing anything that is different or
out of the ordinary. This is a natural, healthy defense
mechanism designed to keep us safe. The problem is that what we
perceive as safe is often just what is familiar. The unfamiliar
is then deemed to be unsafe, when the reality is that it can be
very safe, fun, fulfilling, and full of new possibilities.
By
Emily Bouchard, founder,
www.blended-families.com
emily@blended-families.com
