Benjamins Yarn

We all go through periods in our lives when we feel like it is
spinning out of control and we don’t know what to do about it.
It may be because of an unexpected tragedy that rocks us to our
core and causes us to re-evaluate what is most important to us.
It could be because we are going through a more positive, yet
stressful, experience by choice, like planning a wedding or
moving to a new and exciting place. Or it could just be because
we have a hard time saying no and have too many commitments.
Whatever the case may be, we can all relate to the experience of
feeling out of control. But how do we get that control back? The
following are three sure-fire strategies that you can apply
today to begin to get a sense of control and feel some peace of
mind.

Take a few minutes to just stop and breathe. This is perhaps the
most powerful way of gaining control in the moment that you can
do. I even suggest that you sandwich your day with this
practice. Before you get out of bed in the morning take just
five minutes to breathe. Just focus on your breath. This
technique is very calming. You are going to be tempted to start
thinking about all you have to do that day or whatever worries
are on your mind, but go back to your breath. You can think
later, but for now, just breathe. A calm mind will be much more
efficient than one that is hopping from thought to thought. Do
it again before you go to sleep. Are you having trouble
sleeping? This can help you calm your mind so you can get some
rest and be more efficient the next day. Use this technique
throughout the day whenever you start to feel that “pumped up”
feeling. You will immediately begin to feel more in control and
at peace.

Prioritize. You can prioritize for the day, for the week, for
your life, or even for just the next moment. Sometimes that is
all we can handle. Any level or depth of prioritizing will help
you gain control. Prioritizing means choice. You choose what is
most important to you at any given time. You always have the
power to choose. Even when events happen to you that are out of
your control, you can choose how you respond to them. In that
moment you prioritize your thoughts and feelings. You may say
that you can’t control your feelings, and this is true to a
degree. You may not be able to control your initial reaction,
but you can choose how you will think about a situation, which
will eventually lead to how you feel about it. As you begin to
feel as though you are gaining control, you can then begin to
prioritize for the long term. The more you think about and
decide what is most important to you, the more you will operate
from a place of conscious choice. As you do this, you will have
more feelings of control and peace.

Focus on doing one thing at a time. I know in this day and age
of multi-tasking we think we can’t get enough done if we are not
doing more than one thing at a time. But is this really true?
Have you ever noticed that the things we do with only half our
attention, we often have to do over? Generally, when we give our
tasks the undivided attention they truly require, we can get
more done more efficiently. Just try this for a day and see what
you can get accomplished.

What are you willing to begin today? Commit to at least one
strategy, notice the effects, and you will want to incorporate
all three. Applying these strategies during stressful times will
help you gain a sense of control in your life. If you also begin
to practice them in your daily life any time, you will begin to
discover what it feels like to be at peace. Isn’t this what most
of us are ultimately striving for anyway? I guess the key is to
stop striving and breathe, prioritize, and focus. I guarantee
that over time, the accumulated effects of these changes will
dramatically change your quality of life and give you peace.

I love watching the top sports individuals and teams;
especially, the ones who consistently year in and year out
maintain the highest level of excellence. What is the
common factor of these successful individuals and teams?
Great coaching! Great coaches analyze the talent they
presently have and work to maximize the athlete’s strengths,
while minimizing or eliminating the athlete’s weaknesses.
This makes the individual and team better at what they do;
while, at the same time, it identifies obstacles or challenges
and helps the athlete and team overcome these challenges.

What do top business professionals such as Donald Trump
and Bill Gates (especially in their early days) have in common
with these top notch athletes? They realize that to
accomplish their goals faster, they enlist the help of coaches.
Whether it is presentation coaching, success coaching, or
executive coaching, the coach assists the professionals
realize their full potential, maximize their assets, minimize and
eliminate their weaknesses, and helps them realize their
opportunities in career, business, and life.

What are the qualities of a great coach? It’s the same
qualities you see in the great coaches in the athletic arena
everyday. The following are some of the qualities to seek
when enlisting the services of an effective coach:

1. Positive Communication

When communicating with you, the coach will use
communication that shows ownership and empowerment.
Instead of saying, “I think…,” “I hope…,” “we kinda…,”
“maybe we could…,” “I like to…,” the coach will use words
and phrases such as “we can…,” “we will…,” and “we need
to….” These words and phrases convey a sense of
ownership, empowerment, and expectancy of positive
change.

2. Clear Goal-Setting

Your coach will ask variations of these questions, “Where
are you now?” and “Where do you want to be in one year,
five years, 10 years, etc.?” The coach will work with you to
develop a personalized plan or proven system that is flexible
and fits your special needs. The coach will hold you
accountable for achieving the plan and help you find ways
to accomplish the plan.

3. Motivational Ability

Your coach will find the motivating factors that are important
to you and keep you focused on your goals based on these
factors. Having established a close relationship with you,
your coach will know when and how much to motivate you.

4. Honest Feedback

Your coach will give you constructive, honest feedback so
that you can take the steps to go to the next level in your
career, business, and life. Many times when I coach
individuals in organizations, the number one concern
employees have is one or more of the following: “I never
receive feedback on my performance,” “I only receive
negative feedback,” or “I only receive feedback during my
once-a-year performance review.” Feedback is important for
improvement.

Could you imagine a basketball coach never giving his team
any feedback during the basketball game or season? Or
even worse…only negative feedback? How would the
individuals on the team know what areas to improve upon to
succeed? Your coach’s feedback will keep you on track to
be more successful.

Another important benefit of coaching is that it is
confidential in nature. Just you and your coach will know
what your goals are for success. Often the reason
individuals don’t ask for help or guidance is because they
don’t want others to know their weaknesses. Your coaching
sessions are confidential and all feedback is kept between
the participants.

5. Making the Future Now

Your coach will help you see your future opportunities today
and jumpstart you to take action immediately. Many times
we will see our future opportunities but don’t know how to
get there. The coach provides a “bridge” to help you move
toward your opportunities and goals. Like the old saying
goes, “If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve
it.” The coach helps you achieve it by seeing the future now
and having you act on it.

Enjoy the benefits of successful individuals and
organizations if you are serious about creating success in
your business, career, and life. Do what successful people
do and find a coach that meets your unique needs and helps
you accomplish your goals quickly. You will be amazed at
the results.